Ashley in Tanzania

Monday, July 02, 2007

things I won't

The mocking, nasal voice people use when talking to mzungus
People yelling “Mzungu!” everywhere I go
Being harassed daily on the street, especially by men
Being harassed on daladalas, the coin snap in the face when it’s time to pay, ‘bado hamsini’ from the conductor (trying to get another 50 shillings out of me)
Getting charged the mzungu price for everything, people trying to cheat me all the time
Being talked about right in front of me, people assuming I don’t understand them…and not being able to effectively retort
‘Nipe pesa’, ‘nipe pipi’ (Give me money, give me candy)
‘Can you find me a sponsor to go to school in the US?’
That kid that yells at me almost every day
Squat toilets and bathrooms in general – the logistics, no TP, no soap and sometimes not even a sink
Greasy chips (fries), greasy chicken, greasy everything
Starch, starch, starch
Soda, soda, soda
Meat that you can’t chew through, meat that still has hair on it
The mangy stray dogs that we can’t get rid of (with some exceptions)
Daladalas and transportation in general, fearing for my life
Groups of school children, especially the boys…they think they’re so funny
The disappointing feeling that everyone just wants something from me, that I have few true friends here
Being the ‘token white girl’ at parties, weddings, gatherings, funerals – especially when I’m asked to give a speech and fussed over
The lack of customer service, being ignored and dismissed at places of business
Being touched by random people walking by, like I’m some rare creature
The hiss, the kissy noise they use to get your attention
The church next door – being woken at 8 every Sunday to a synthesizer, random worship services at 2 am, having to listen to bad singing at all hours of the day, having to listen to exorcisms and other craziness that sounds like someone’s being maimed
Being asked by everyone I meet what religion I am, and then the look of confusion and pity they give me when I answer honestly
Being constantly deferred to, given special attention for everything, always given ‘mzungu priority’ as some call it
Pickpockets, especially ones that slash your pockets trying to steal your cell phone on the daladala in Arusha
Being stared at shamelessly
The impossibility of anonymity, never being able to blend in or have any privacy
People picking their noses in public, peeing in public
The general attitude of resignation and helplessness, lack of innovation and motivation
Seeing so much sickness and poverty and not being able to do anything about it
The street kids
The attitude and stigma toward AIDS, refusal to use condoms, general culture of infidelity
The ‘giving dilemma,’ not knowing what is the right thing to do, feeling constantly conflicted
Atrocious mzungus -- poor representatives of western culture and the reason life can suck for the rest of us here actually trying to do some good
Being associated with/mistaken for other atrocious mzungus
It always being assumed, first and foremost, that I am a tourist and that I have tons of money
The redundancy of the salimia (greeting) process
The repetition in conversations, feeling like people aren’t understanding or they’re not really listening
The formalities for everything
The way tourists treat Maasai and other people here like they are objects or animals in a park
Body odor, lack of cologne or deodorant use
The dust, the mud, always being so, so dirty
Malaria-carrying mosquitoes, the flies, the Nairobi fly (a.k.a. blister beetle)
Taking anti-biotics every day and still getting malaria…twice.
Rats in the ceiling and occasionally in the kitchen
Cockroaches, giant spiders, very weird-looking insects of all kinds
Internet cafes – slow internet, cramped spaces, computer viruses that infect your flash drive and delete your folders
‘Tanzania time’ – how everyone is always at least a half hour late for everything
The pollution, trash everywhere, how people just throw bottles and plastic bags on the ground, the smell of burning trash in the morning
The corruption and the stupid police who do nothing about anything, except beat people up, and constantly extract bribes from people
Sleeping in a net, having to boil water
‘The beep’ – when people call your phone and hang up before you answer, and then expect you to call them back so that they don’t have to pay…and when you don’t call back, they keep doing it, every 5 seconds, until you do
Almost being run over by taxis and daladalas trying to pick you up
Being afraid to be out alone after dark, always being a target
$8 boxes of cereal, expensive cheese, bad candy, weak coffee
Hand-washing my underwear, having no dryer, having to iron everything to avoid mango fly larvae from burrowing into my skin

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